Diari MCO2020 (Day 34) : MY WISH FOR RAMADHAN

MY WISH FOR RAMADHAN

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna. Agar dapat kulalui dengan sempurna

Selangkah demi selangkah, setahun sudah pun berlalu. Masa yang pantas berlalu, hingga tak terasa ku berada di bulan Ramadhan semula.

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna. Agar dapat kulalui dengan sempurna

Puasa satu amalan sebagaimana yang di perintah Nya. Moga dapat ku lenturkan nafsu yang selalu membelenggu diri tiada henti-henti

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna. Agar dapat kulalui dengan sempurna

Tak ingin ku biarkan Ramadhan berlalu saja

Ya Allah pimpinlah daku yang lemah mengharungi segalanya dengan sabar dan sempurna

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna. Agar dapat kulalui dengan sempurna.

Ku memohon pada Tuhan diberi kekuatan

Ku merayu pada Tuhan diterima amalan.

Selangkah demi selangkah

Dengan Rahmat MU oh Tuhan ku

Ku tempuh jua

Being able to stay at home during Ramadhan is kind of “my wish (prayer/ doa) come true”. I keep on asking for this for the past few years I guess since 2016 or even before.  Why? Because I’ve been very busy since then.

I was sick terribly in 2015 (hospital visit nonstop, warded, etc.) until I’ve in mind that’s going to be my last day on earth as if my time is up in this dunya. But Alhamdulillah Allah keep me alive till today.

In 2016 and 2017 I was so busy with work because I need to chase over time to finish the DW as it has its own time line plus it was about time for me to take long leave for my study in 2017. So I need to ensure that all task and things are in place and in a good hand as much as possible (even though of course there’s hick up here and there too. Lol!). During those years, I reached home when it’s about to azan Maghrib like I was stuck in parking or lift when there was azan. But in 2017, since there is iftar almost every day at the surau in my apartment area, so whenever I reach parking lot 5 minutes before azan, I’ll straight away go to the surau, break my fast, went up to my house to clean up myself, and go the surau again for prayer.

In 2018 – it was another terrible story as if you guys following my life my blog (ecewah, ada orang follow ke. Theee.hehehe). Ramadhan 2018, I was in my second semester of my master program. And to have some additional challenges, it was last month of semester where we need to rush for class, exam and projects as one of my classmate time tu gak la dia sibuk nak beranak. Hahaha …. So the whole class need to be adjusted according to her time line. But I guess it was ok. Since we can’t finish the entire syllabus because the final exam was set up earlier, so the final exam paper was easier I guess. Kah kah kah. Sebab dapat A berani la aku cakap easier. Kalau tak dapat A aku rasa kawan tu memang akan kena curse as long as I can remember. Ha Ha Ha. Joking la. Tak ada nya aku nak curse orang. Okay je apa yang berlaku Alhamdulillah.  But since the final exam was earlier and kind of easier (according to me), the lecturer is very smart also. All the unfinished syllabus which cannot go to the final exam, was transformed to ASSIGNMENT and PROJECT with higher weight. Hwaaa nanges. And that was the reason why my Ramadhan was disaster in 2018. The assignment and PROJECT was very tough. Very tough until I didn’t sleep for many days, didn’t talk to people, and I just stayed at my study table and only going out of the room when there’s prayer time, iftar time and when I need to go to university for the project / assignment submission or presentation. It was terrible as I can’t really describe (oh I’ve entry about my second semester journey – you can read them here).

In 2019, as all of you may not aware …. Hahaha. Because I didn’t say much about it in my blog but I did mumbling a lot in my Instagram. 2019 was the most disaster among em all. On 29^th Sya’ban (5^th May 2019) I flew to Chile (44 hours’ journey, but since they are 12 hours behind us, so I arrived there in their date of 6^th May 2019 (It was my mak birthday you know). Landed Chile in 1^st day Ramadhan at 8 am something – when you guys in Malaysia already about to go for tarawikh prayer for 2^nd night and obviously I missed my tarawikh prayer for 1^st night as I just in the middle of I don’t know where. It was a great challenge for me to plan for my solat also as I travel for 44 hours ye. And I did study how to know when I need to sahur on the flight. Yeah I know what’s in your mind. Yes, of course la boleh ambil rukhsah untuk tidak berpuasa sebab musafir kan. Tapi hey rugi la. Chile puasa 9 jam je kot. Hahaha. It was during the end of winter. So the day time was shorter compare to night time.
But things don’t work according to my imagination. My luggage went missing in Paris and didn’t arrived at Chile with me. Yes, you read it right. My luggage went missing is Paris during transit. I've only my backpack for my laptop, and a few things within that small backpack. I was travel for 44 hours non-stop (with 2 transit about 6 and 2 hours each transit if I'm not mistaken) and when I arrived – my imagination was -  I really want to take a long shower and long sleep before my meeting. And cook good food for my iftar and even have plan to cook for my other muslim friends just in case I meet anyone there. Half of my luggage is FOOD. Half of my luggage. Yes, you read it right. Ha ha ha. But then, the bag lost in the middle no where and didn't make it with me to chile. Crazy huh? 44 hours and things happen at the other side of my world. Can you guess what did i eat, how am I survive for my meeting? Hi Hi Hi.
We plan and Allah’s plan way perfect and we just need to follow what has been written for us. Kan.  Hahaha I’ll give another entry for this trip later, insha Allah as it was kind of interesting but long story to mumbling here. Okay so 2019, the whole one-week journey was very much challenging too. But actually it was calm too as I can pray calmly in my 5 star hotel room (I’ll write about the bag and baju in next entry insha Allah). – no telekung, no food and it was even hard to find water that able to drink. Never I have that in my mind. Air dia rasa pelik rasa air laut dan berkeladak. My hotel located above the Pacific Ocean, what to expect huh. Huhuhu…. Out of my imagination. Since the journey took about 44 hours, my meeting was 2 days, and going back to Malaysia took about another +- 44 hours, so all together my Ramadhan was just I can describe as in real life time story. When I came back, do you guys think I’ve time to entertain my jet lag? #jangankauharap.  We were busy with another task about FW that time. Hwaaaa sis balik office pukul 1 ke 2 pagi untuk beberapa hari. Sambil sel-sel otak masih ting tong. Sampai rumah tak tau la sis cuba juga la solat sunat as much as sis can, but I don’t know la kalau boleh tengok buku catatan amalan, berapa je la markah sis dapat ya. Hu hu hu.

So since then actually I really pray deep inside my heart that I can have one proper Ramadhan for me to stay at home, go to the mosque, do my charity / ngo programme, with good health to maximize my ibadah 

(yeah I know kerja pun satu ibadah, tapi kadang-kadang saya rasa mereka ni bekerja dah macam tak ada hari esok. Huhuhu).

Dan sesungguhnya tahun ini semacam doa itu dimakbulkan bukan?  Masha Allah. Ye saya kalau panjang umur akan memulakan puasa di rumah ini, sendirian, dan hmmm begitulah.

To be honest, being able to stay at home during Ramadhan is some kind of my wish come true. Masha Allah. However, the current situation is beyond my thinking and what I’ve in mind. Yes, I make doa to have full time for myself during Ramadhan, with good health, Alhamdulillah but, never I can imagine that we all “trapped” inside our house due to this COVID-19 and the movement control order. Never in my imagination, yes I can fast, I can pray but I can’t go to mosque for Jemaah, and I can’t fast with my family. Hwaaaa.

But above all. Saya nak jadi hamba Allah yang bersyukur. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for this doa. Thank you Allah for this journey. Semoga Allah mudahkan segala urusan dan berikan saya dan awak semua Ramadhan yang terbaik dan amalan kita diterima Nya. Moga dapat kita merasai nikmatnya iman, nikmatnya beribadah. Moga ibadah kita diterima Allah. Moga menjadi asbab turunnya rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah, diangkat segala ujian yang sedang melanda negara dan seluruh dunia. Moga Huda sekeluarga dan sahabat-sahabat yang membaca semua, diberi kesudahan yang baik dan iman yang sempurna dan kita dapat masuk syurga sama-sama. Ameen. Insha Allah.

Pengajarannya juga, berhati-hatilah dengan apa yang kita ucap, yang kita harap, kerana kita tak tahu bila doa kita akan Allah makbulkan. Sebab tu kena sentiasa cakap yang baik, fikir yang baik supaya yang datang semua yang baik-baik. Insha Allah. Dan sesungguhnya betul la semacam doa yang kita baca setiap pagi dalam al-mathurat …. Doanya;

“Ya Allah, jangan Engkau biarkan nasib kami ditentukan oleh kami sendiri walaupun hanya sekelip mata atau lebih pendek dari masa itu”.

Ameen. Insha Allah.

Oh Allah, I still pray that I can maximize my Ramadhan this year, Ameen. Insha Allah.